We all want to feel that we are valued for the work that we do daily, and when you don’t feel it, “checking out” becomes an option.
When one is truly valued, they are not just commended for the work they do but are pushed to the possibilities of what they possibly could do.
My best boss always found the balance of ensuring she appreciated me, but asking me questions and pushing my thinking on where I could go. The majority of my conversations with her ended with me feeling that I am on the right path, but I have work to do. She was masterful in how she maintained that balance.
Personally, there are many people that I mentor who I know that I push to their limits because I know what they can achieve. I do my best to make them feel appreciated (working on getting better), but because I care, I push them. Sometimes when you don’t push, that is a sign of giving up.
I also know that there are people that do not build relationships with people they push. That feels more like an “ego” thing than a support thing. The balance is necessary.
As you read this, think of the people who have shown you that you are appreciated while simultaneously frustrating you with their challenges. Think of the students you cared for, but you still focused on getting them to their best. The feeling you had and your students had, were probably quite similar.
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